dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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