I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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