if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
