the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
