Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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