Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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