There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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