Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
