did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
