Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
