You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize