We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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