I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
