We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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