I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she told me i tasted like america
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
