You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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