We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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