I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
