I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
