The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
