wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize