I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's never too late to be topless.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
