My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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