there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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