There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
