Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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