He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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