Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
