The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
tell me about the fingering
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