Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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