I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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