You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize