Can Purell be used as lube?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
