Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
