But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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