Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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