hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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