I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
