chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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