I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home