Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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