i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?