If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts