It's Friday. Sex?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.