is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize