Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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