Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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