We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize