Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
