dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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