Duck Duck Cougar?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
