Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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