Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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