Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
