ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
