3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
