Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
