I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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