I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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