im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
