Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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