in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
